Running in a Circle

Seldom do we realize that life is more or less like a sprint track. We are running in a circle, not for a day not for a month but for the entire stay on this third rock from the Sun. Most of the things we do, repeat themselves, right from the food items we eat, to the clothes we wear, to the things we do. I think it was a movie in which they say ‘on a long enough timeline you are bound to die’. I would say on a ‘long enough time line everything is bound to repeat’. I present you the vicious circle of life.

I will want to shed some light on something very common to us that has been so ingrained that we don’t even see it as a circle - The Week.

Monday -

6:00 AM Beep Beep Beep....Snooze

7:00 AM Beep Beep Beep....Snooze

7:58 AM Damn why did the alarm not ring

8:00 AM Beep Beep Beep....

The inevitable Monday morning, the sun is not bright enough (cause the blinds are closed), the bath is not warm, feels like we did not sleep long enough (watching movies all night). Getting ready is a big mess, finally you think you are done but realize you have forgotten to shave. You return, finish up everything and come to the work place.

This is when you have a slight glimmer of hope, that your manager is also a human. Nope...not a chance. There he is the goliath of a figure ever so dedicatedly sitting in front of his desk...you mutter to yourself “perfect I am late and he is not”. The day drags on as you slip into the mountains of work that piles on your desk...you begin to vaccilate through thoughts in and out as to how you ended up here.

Damn i forgot to type in the weekly review.

Tuesday -

Oh God the weekend is still 3 days away, Tuesday i believe is more or less a day of recuperation. We pick up the spoils of the collision from Monday and try to make the best of it, we seems to think we are back in the groove, we seem to console ourselves by chanting the mantra of confidence - oh yeah the week is going to be a breeze

4:30 PM Another half an hour to go

4:32 PM Beep...Meeting from 5 to 6 PM

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.....

Wednesday -

The late evening meeting lets us know that we have to deliver an impossible piece of code this Friday, the breeze slowly turns into a hurricane, destroying all the movie plans in its path. A slow grim engulfs all the people in the team as though the world is destined to collide with the Sun and nothing else matters.

3:30 AM Click..Click...and Click there its done I can now test everything and have it ready for review tomorrow.

Thursday -

Team Leader: (shrugged shoulders with a blatant look) Doesn’t work! Get back on it!

Om: I swear it was working yesterday (it is last night) night, i don’t know what went wrong i will get it to work. i will have a look into it. Well I guess after that I can find the cure for cancer.

4:00 AM There it is done.

Firday -

Om:Ya i have finally got it to work you can review it,

Asst Manager: actually the Manager is off looks like he has a cold, so it can wait till Monday, thanks for the work we appreciate it.

Om: (Thinking to himself; What the deuce? Worked my arse off, only for the deadline to be postponed…..life is so cruel…..lets go of all the frustration with a sigh).

Asst Manager: (noticing the sigh; ?????????)

3:00 PM 2 hours for the weekend.

Pending tasks for the weekend

Have to do the laundry from Tuesday, groceries from Wednesday, Bank visit from Thursday, Family Guy, American Dad, Sleep from 3 days, 1000 phone calls…..

Saturday , Sunday-

Now lets see, its here…..the small trinket of pleasure, u know the feeling, when u wait for a moment for all eternity. It does happen but, it turns out to be just that, a moment. Ends a million times as quickly as it starts. The good thing though is all this is ready to repeat, like an ipod stuck on repeat.

Monday -

6:00 AM Beep Beep Beep....Snooze

7:00 AM Beep Beep Beep....Snooze

7:58 AM Shit why did the alarm not ring

8:00 AM Beep Beep Beep....

…..and so the wheel of life spins furiously ever so slightly spinning unto itself, consequently ending in oblivion and that my friends is - Running in a circle.

King Of The Castle

king of the castle

The human brain is unlike that of other beings, it is created blank, blank as the expression on ur face when you just wake up in the class to the sound of the professor asking you something. A white page if you will, as one grows and goes about life the ink is laid, we start to pick things we like, create our own memories, now the white paper has guidelines to write on, now white is called stripes. These memories that are implanted into us in childhood, act as something close to a tape recorder, these are what people call the prime directives or the morals.

You know this, the annoying voice that keeps bugging you when you are about to eat the chocolate on the

table when no one is looking. This begs for an answer to the question what is wrong? and what is right?

how do you decide on that and where did this voice start, we will get back to that......

As the human brain gets enough of these guidelines, it starts to create its own likes and dislikes, like writing within the lines on the page, I like coffee I don’t like tea, I prefer the traffic to the subway, I love you, I hate you. No matter how much one grows, he cannot draw pictures in the page as it is full of lines, it has to restrict its expressions to fit within them, as one goes about life we make our likes and dislikes so unique that at a point we come to believe that that is our identity. What happens, when you relate yourself so much to a mere qualm that you believe, you are not you if you change your likes and dislikes, we will get back to that later......

Well then, what about the mind that somehow lay low till the point it was able to create its own likes and dislikes? Escaping the imprints of everyone else, which means this mind can show its expressions in pictures drawings and pantings as it has no stripes, how does it react to the seemingly concrete mind sets it sees all around? does it even comprehend what all the fuss about? what happens when such a plain white meets the stripes, someone who is normal and feels, everything with about white is wrong, we will get back to this.......

This is where we get back to all the things........People for the most part are like hmmm lets say paper with lines to write on, these line are formed as imprints from parents or elders helping them to go about life, so this is what defines what is right and wrong in life, write (right) along the line.

So what the society deems to be right is nothing but a mass feeling stereotyped knowledge, much like a mass brain wash, when we grow with such an imprint and start to create our likes and dislikes based on this, we strive to create uniqueness which is as pointless as searching for uniqueness in twins, so we tend to hold on to what we find different the most our likes and dislikes, for we feel that is what makes us what we are, under the guise that we are following rules all that we are doing is, being too scared to change our opinions for the fear of loosing our fake uniqueness.

The person who managed to escape the impressions however, sees through this guise he is ready to change anything on a radical pivot, but what happens when such a formless and shapeless mind meets a person who is of utmost straight lines, and gets the first imprint on it,

The striped paper sees no direction, no meaning and, only chaos in the plainness of the white paper, the sense of understanding needed to achieve a liking for this, lack of almost congenital feature that it sees as ubiquitous as the finger print pushes the striped paper farther away, from the white.

While the plain white sees the true beauty in the stripes, in those white spaces between the lines and realizes that the lines, are mere jail bars and wants to show how beautiful the world without the guidelines is, how free to express it is without the limiting rules. For it knows when the day comes, when the lines fade away, stripes is bound to understand the feelings of the plain white.

What happens if that day does not come, what if stripes is too afraid to let go of the rules that make it feel secure? Does this mean whites free willed mind will now cater to the stereo typed guidelines he always thought were point less, or will the guidelined stripes finally fall in love with the free willed way of life and erase the lines,

While the world roars that the answer is simple as pie, the guidelines are inerasable, but a white paper can always be imprinted. Will he accept it and loose the true uniqueness and become a drop in the ocean or will he try to remain the true ruler of his own life and remain the KING OF THE CASTLE and never the KING OF HEARTS.

Or will the lines finally fade away making this unique love story come true…………….

The Roadtrip Part 1

Things were slowly falling into place and starting to make a sense like a huge domino puzzle slowly revealing itself, as the days were getting slow and the clock became too lazy to move the time forward. Om came to the conclusion it was about time to set the American roads on fire....and rented a car Pontiac GP.

The Destination:

Om the unlicensed driving maniac brought the car home on a chilly Friday night…. And out of the blue a brilliant idea landed a knockout punch on the seemingly never-ending boredom of a long semester, the stage was set for a Road Trip. The excitement on the prospect of a road trip drowned everyone’s minds to such an extent that the most important part; a destination was forgotten, which dawned on Om as would a splash of ice cold water on a sleeping person and to his unpleasant surprise he was met with equally blank and bewildered faces staring at each other.

Even though Om was not prepared to deviate from his chain of thought about a long drive lasting more than 6 hours, his “courtesy” helped everyone to voice their opinions even though there was an aura in the air that they were not going to considered at all. Every one presented their own ideas, as Om tried to notice and narrow in on the ones which fit his list of requirements,

1. No closer than 6 hours of drive.

2. No closer than 6 hours of drive.

and finally the most important one

3. No closer than 6 hours of drive.

After much deliberation, a frustrated (Hangry = Hungry + Angry) Jhinga hit the shower and when he emerged, it was hard to ascertain whether it was him fuming or the steam. Ogo and Om noticed the emanating steam which reminded them to only one place which they had seen in many videos; the majestic and misty falls of the Niagara. a magical mist seemed to engulf everybody, this mist was nothing but the same mist which existed in the water falls of NIAGARA, the crew came to a conclusion that course be set to NIAGARA. Being students and running on a tight budget as most graduate students do Om, Ogo and Jhinga decided to invite more people, first to make the trip more exciting and to cut down on the final cost.

Om suggested Mr. Microsoft and Snorex

The Provisions:

A battlefield scenario emerged in preparation for the trip As Flour covered the floor, spices engulfed the air, the kitchen resembled the insides interior of a battle tank, Mr. X was the pint sized man in the ammo roOm who quickly reloaded the ammo or chapathi in to the cannon which was manned by ogo, as jhinga took station at the takkali(tomato) chutney rifle and Microsoft well coordinated. As this well engineered machine cranked out shell after shell Om snored away in the bed room, 4 hours, 2 kilos of dough, 12 tomatoes and 2 liters of sweat later 110 poories were packed.

as the clock struck midnight everyone was forced to hit the sack….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2 am beep beep beep beep beep

Om: Abay yaar

Damn its late

Guys wake up

Ogo: Abay jhinge go for bath

Jhinga: I will bath in the Niagara directly…. You guys go ahead

OM : I am going, Ogo you next after me not with me :)

3 am

As everyone got into the car, Om started the car and screeched the tires …..the adrenaline rushing from smell of burnt rubber in the air and the sadistic pleasure derived from seeing terrified faces in the back seat…and finally uttering the holy word they embarked on their journey.

The designations for the trip were as follows: Ogo the navigator; Jhinga the entertainer and Microsoft the patient listener and snooooore snoooooooore x performed his job to perfection….. sleeping!

PITSTOP:

The progress bar showed as follows

0 hours 0 miles snoreeeex sleeping

2 hours 120 miles Microsoft as shuts down

4 hours 240 miles Jhinga buzzes away.

6 hours 350 miles, as they approached the first pitstop the Cedar Point Amusement Park, Om could not control his amazement looking at the distant island filled with roller coasters, thrill rides, and everything “American”. As he approached closer his sight fell on one particular BLUE coaster, with the highest point of the coaster completely shrouded by clouds.

Looking at the coaster OM’s sky-high imagination wondered if the fog was nothing but souls that left the body of the people at the highest too scared of going on the ride, but was suddenly distracted by the cacophonous Jhinga distributing the pooris in poori-wala style....and even though the pooris were not warm, the weary Om felt that these were the best pooris he had ever tasted.

The time finally came and pirates finally entered the treasure island, as they looted the thrills off of each ride, the coveted Moby dick the BLUE ride staggered in front of them, Finally they strapped them selves in, the coaster started its assent with a clicking sound, as the assent continued Om made a startling discovery that the funny thought he had on the ground was true, as the coaster ascended into mist of souls Om could feel his heart try its best to jump out of the throat and make a run for it, click....click...click....x: stop it i want to get (in a funny tone). as Om was busy struggling to stay focussed, Ogo looked as if he was a monkey strapped to a jet pack being sent into space...Jhinga looked paler than the mist they were heading into....as Om was thinking there was no way he could be more scared.....the next sight stopped his heart.

The 95 degree inclined drop meant we could not see the tracks as we descended the coaster rails.

As the ride continued OM began to thank god as he thought this was gods answer to all the times Om wished for a dragon he could ride on when he was a kid, the whole world transformed in front of him, one turn looked like a swoosh in a jet plane other looked like a free bungee jump off a cliff, Om thought this as close to teleportation he is going to come in his life time.

The next moment that the senses could capture was the seemingly soothing voice of the park employee asking us to get down. The crew realized that all pleasures don’t last forever and with a slightly disappointed look on their faces started off for Niagara, but if dreams could tell what Niagara held for us, snoreeee x would be the first to know as he dozed off the moment he entered the car.

Ogo: Next stop NIAGARA

vroooooooommmmmm

The Hunt

The Apartment

"yeah but that house is too close to the highway "

"but that one too far from campus........ "

If one house had a bad stove the other had a bad heater, if one had a bad ceiling the other had a leaky sink. It was as if someone intentionally screwed up one thing at a time with each of them, and after a lot of speculation, a frustrated Om let out a huge sigh when the worst of them all was booked… a shack which was run down completely by the previous occupants.... a huge compromise for those other apartments with minor shortcomings.

"Ok then its settled we will go with this one"

"Sorry this has been taken by the Gals......" [With a sadistic smile taking pleasure in Om’s misery]

Om: excuse me.....[you got to be kidding me]

Here was a person who had descended into the lowest stratum of a moralistic society; his given name did not do any justice to his “OUTSTANDING” reputation. This guy resembled a certain personality on a late night Discovery Channel special on the rituals of the Kalahari tribe. In his efforts to attract the feminine gender he was closing deals on apartments that we had reserved by sweet talking the landlords…..the result was more like a toll free helpline number for gals hence the resulting nickname 1-800-XXXX-XXX.

After a long day searching for apartments, the trio returned home to be greeted by the seniors with a delicious meal, or was it? Well as the saying goes even an average meal tastes delicious after a long day. Any given night Om could not help but wonder, about he was to realize the American Dream he had longed for back home…... He could not help but think "DID I DO THE RIGHT THING COMING HERE". Frustration had set in…..and he sure was in for more…..

GA

Over the weekend Om managed to grab a print out of the campus layout and plan out the strategies for the Graduate Assistantship (GA) hunt. Well the idea for the GA hunt was a pretty simple 2 step plan at the heart of it,

1.Print 140 resumes

2. Go to every building, ever floor, every department, and give them one of your resumes. and wait.

But the reactions from the people who took them though varied from a warm and reassuring “Thank you” to the unsettling what is a GA? But at the end of the day Om and Ogo sat together and discussed their experiences for the day.

On one occasion Family Man swore that one of the personnel at the GA had got irritated with him, to an extent that she threatened to call 911. Initially he thought she was joking since he thought the number for police was supposed to be 100, but soon realized the contrary and left ASAP.

Meanwhile Ogo had his doubts about one particular department’s board that read Department of Gay Lesbian and Transgender Studies and began to wonder what they would do to him in case his resume got selected.

Om quietly pondered about how he got lost in the architectural maze that is the Behavioral Sciences Building (BSB) and ended up discovering some underground tunnel which led to another building across the campus, from where he walked for 20 minutes before he realized that the street names were along the road for which they stand for rather than perpendicular to like in India.

As the days passed by the team finally located an apartment, and the moving date was coincidentally finalized as Aug 15th sarcastically symbolizing their independence from the seniors. As they moved into the new house they took their rooms.... Ogo settled down the living room which was spacious but at the cost of privacy.....Family Man took the middle room all for himself but to this date Om wondered what in the “Closet Sized” room attracted Family Man to settle for that......Om took a rather sizeable room which ensured total privacy but finally ended up sharing with the fourth roomie Jinga…..With one major issue of accommodation over….the trio of Om, Ogo and Jinga did not know what life had in store for them.

Day 1

"Screech......screech......aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.......Dear passengers we have landed at O’Hare international airport, Chicago the temperature outside is 88 F, thank you for traveling in AIR INDIA." said the Pilot in the most unemotional tone, if you did not know English you would have thought some one passed away.

Om: "Excuse me....sorry....coming through....."

Om lands in Chicago, where he got an admit from the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), this being the first time leaving home to realize the "American Dream", he thought he will be experiencing the feelings people often mention. But soon he realizes that just he always thought, it was another over rated emotion, slowly coming to his senses he starts looking for the luggage.

CULTURE – So far yet not so far.....

He realizes the lack of the eternal life blood of an Indian airport - 'chaos', out of no where he sees his bags approaching in the carousal. After getting them on the cart, he starts moving through the blank faces of strangers. Om begins to comprehend that the faces that looked so enticing on the TV, look very normal and lackluster.

Moving through the collosal hall ways, scantily populated, he begins to think if the place is in a curfew. As he approaches the end of the hallway, the silence is slowly engulfed by a soothing saxophone from a poorly dressed man with a hat containing a few coins in it, in a flash he remembers the streets back home and the similarity of the situation.Some things never seem to change......

As he moves on the saxophone slowly breaks into beeps and clicks, this unmistakable sound was from the immigration department. As he makes his way through, he starts to get the first hand taste of the famous American blandness, the stereotyped appearance, the similarity down to the point of the width of the smile was down right - scary.

"Sir, I am going to have to ask you to place your left index finger on the screen.......now your right......." a cynical smile comes across Om's face thinking, will he even notice if, I do it the other way around. He looks for the IGSA people coming to pick him up, finally finds them, realizes that they seem to be segregated in 2 groups. Once all the expected students arrive, as he opens the exit doors of the airport he is greeted with a rather hot breeze from outside. He is then "packed and shipped" off to the temporary accommodation......

People – A dog is a dog is a dog…..

As he tries to get in grips with the fact that he will now not have the luxury of driving off when ever he wants to

"Wassup.....did you call India?",

Om: "No, yaar I did not" [No of course not, you moron, its only 2 AM in the morning there.]

"Well couple of other people will be joining you shortly, Ogo and Family man"

These 2 were incidentally a part of the 4 men team, along with Om was doomed to stay with.

As the night reluctantly approaches 9 PM, Om begins to wonder if this was a plot by the Americans to have more work hours, as he is interrupted by the same senior,

"hey come on in I will show you something"

"This is a shower curtain"

Om: "I see" [appalled at the seniors poor understanding of Om's mental faculties]

As the senior explains the miracle of the shower curtain and its purpose, Om begins to think how quickly people tend to forget how full of crap they are.

As he heads into a deep slumber, Om performs his habitual check,

• Getting an admit in one of the Good colleges - Check
• Crossing 16000 miles and landing in US – Check
• Coming to temporary accommodation – Check
• Realizing that people continue to remain idiots irrespective of the degree they attain…………………

- CHECK

As the sun sets over the Horizon in the "new motherland", as he begins to doze off he begins to wonder, if this was all just a dream, and will he soon wake up to the sound of his mother cooking breakfast and, dad scolding that he is getting late for the college…………